Evolving from shyness to empowerment is going to take self-awareness, courage, commitment, and a little magic. Yes, magic. You’ll find it in the love I have woven into each post, the little nudges to go to a certain place, the “coincidental” conversations with people you meet along the way, and especially when you alchemize your pain into your power.
Before you jump courageously into a solo date out in the wild, take an opportunity to get to know yourself better. Understand the underlying fears and self-limiting beliefs that are holding you back from prioritizing them in the first place. I encourage you to explore your thoughts and emotions through journaling. In my experience, journaling has helped to reduce my anxiety and rebuild my confidence. It has helped me identify why I resisted solo dates, particularly the “scarier” ones. Carving out a little time before, during, and after the date to sit with yourself can help you regain your power as well as foster personal growth.
I invite you to recite positive affirmations, or Pre-Date Pep Talks, before each date for self-love and mindset shifts. I recommend repeating the affirmations a few times throughout the date as needed. Sometimes we need a gentle reminder when anxiety or fear begin to creep in. Maybe you’re wondering how an affirmation will effectively help you accomplish this. I highly recommend reading Dr. Joe Dispenza’s book, “Becoming Supernatural” for a deep dive into the science of it. To briefly summarize it, neuroplasticity is our brain’s ability to adapt and literally change. When we consistently repeat positive affirmations, we create new neural pathways. With time, these pathways will strengthen and we begin to believe these affirmations more and our negative thoughts less. The hope is to find evidence of them on your solo dates to solidify the belief.
Give your closet a facelift and your confidence a boost by refreshing your wardrobe. Keep in mind, this doesn’t have to happen all at once. Slowly start integrating new or thrifted pieces. The idea is to align with your vision of your highest self. What does she wear on solo dates? What does she wear in daily life? I realized early in my journey that when you look good, you naturally feel good. Over time, I started walking into rooms as if I owned them. And you will too.
Finally, gently expose yourself to social settings, by starting with less intimidating dates like a solo movie date to eventually celebrating yourself at dinner out at that restaurant you’ve wanted to go to. Be sure to grab a book from your TBR to accompany you on solo adventures. Books are the perfect companion because they help you relax and immerse yourself in the experience. If you’re not already a big reader, maybe this is an opportunity to become one.
If you’re ready to wake up feeling excited about the life you are creating, let the adventure begin!